Storytime.......

   They told me it would fade.  That the urges simmering under my skin,  desperate for release,  would dim and slide into oblivion.  They told me this.

   They promised me.

   They said I should fight it.  That it wasn't "natural".  I thought that exceptionally funny at the time.  Even more so,  now,  as I think on their naïveté.  How little they knew of whom they spoke to.

   I would watch them, you know?  Behind guarded eyes,  hiding what they feared most... I watched them.  I catalogued every sly glance.  Every snear hidden behind empty smiles and placating words.

   I listened to hushed whispers behind closed doors.  To heartbeats racing trying to determine if I were near.

   I felt their fear.  Warm like the summer sun and just as stifling.  A combination of something you want and a terrible burden placed upon your shoulders.

   Balance.

   I've come to learn this describes my situation very well.  Balance.  Good or evil,   one cannot exist without the other.  You can't know the saint if you haven't met the sinner.

   It's all very logical,  you see?  My presence justified their insecurities.  Their need to band together for something.  Anything.  To consider themselves above reproach.  Free of judgement from the atrocities they commited when thought to be unseen.

   Yes.....I was that diversion.  I took the spotlight off the elephant in the room.  The question that no one knew the answer to. The reason why their simple words to ignore the very essence of my being would never bear fruit.

   Oh yes..... how little they knew the silent one waiting in the dark corner,  shadows cast over her eyes.  How so very little they knew.....