The really sucky part of it...

   I debated on writing about this but the need to help others from my own experience won out over reliving bad memories.
   For the longest time, the majority of my childhood, I  hated the gift I have been given. It made my early years extremely uncomfortable for me. I know now I'm not alone in this, but I worry about those who are younger than I. Those who carry the burden of feeling like they never belong.
   You see...that's the hardest thing to deal with when you can see, hear and feel things others can't. When you know things they don't want you to know. When you're older, you can gage how much information society can deal with. By society  I mean family, friends, classmates and the like. When you're young you believe everybody can do the things you do, so you talk about it...too much. So much so that you don't see, at first, the look that starts like a shadow over peoples faces. The wariness in their eyes that is the beginning of fear. You don't hear the whispers.  When you finally do see and hear all this, it is heartbreaking.  This magical world gets overshadowed by embarrassment and feelings of self-loathing for being different.
   My awakening to the darker side of how these gifts could be perceived came at the most vulnerable time in a young girls life. I had known, already, that I had to keep most of it a secret. I learned that very early on, but even then I had thought there would be exceptions. That, knowing and seeing everything I did, there would be atleast some people I could share it with. Unfortunately I picked the absolute wrong time to try this. Not the wrong people, just the wrong time. 13 is definitely not the age a young woman needs to be when she decides to share her secret with others. She especially doesn't need to do it with 6 other 13 yr olds on Halloween.  It was a recipe for disaster.  I ended up scaring the hell out of my friends, one of which that ended up not speaking to me for years after. I can't explain how damaging this was for me. It took years to finally get over the feeling that I was somehow damned. When I finally did,  I was so desperate for acceptance that I trusted the wrong people and got hurt again.
   Funny thing, though, I wouldn't change a bit of it. It was all a learning experience that has better equipped me to help those who need it. I've become accustomed to being the "odd duck". I value my "loner status ". I've had people that have shunned me out of fear. I've been used for my abilities then been told I'm going to hell because I have them. Such is the way of things. If I am to give any advice to those just awakening to their abilities,  it is this.
   Stay true to yourself.  You need not seek acceptance from anyone. You are as you are meant to be...and you are the more beautiful for it. That having been said...you are also no better than anyone else, gift or not. This part I've always known, but jealousy is everpresent in this field.  Flattery is the twin sister to envy. Don't give in to it. I've seen good people fall prey to this.
   Just food for thought....